She Bangs
by Yaoi Twins Of Yin and Yang
Summary: When Itachi and Deidara end up as just friends Hidan decides it's time for Sasori to confess his feelings towards Deidara. And with Deidara's bffs from NYC decide to help things will be crazier then ever. Sequel to 'Nobody's Perfect'. Delilah Rain Loveles
1. Heists, Animal Costumes, and Switzerland

**A/N: SEQUEL TIME!!**

She Bangs

Chapter 1 Heists, Animal Cotumes, and Switzerland!

"Itachi I want to break up, un," Deidara said. It had been a month since they hooked up and our little Dei Dei was getting that just friends vibe. "Me too," Itachi said. "I can't really see us more then friends." "Same here, un!" Deidara exclaimed relieved. "No hard feeling?" "No hard feelings," Itachi said. "See ya later!"

- - - -

"So after all the fucking things we did to get you two fucking together you end up as just fucking friends," Hidan said before class. "You should be happy, un," Deidara said. "If it wasn't for me, you and Kakuzu wouldn't have S&M filled nights." "He's got a point," Kakuzu said. "Speaking of which next time can you not pull out my stitches. My doctor is making a fortune that should be mine."

"You know you fucking love," Hidan said. "I do until the bill comes in," Kakuzu said. "So Deidara," Kakashi said interrupting the lover's quarrel. "Find any new lovers yet?" "We just broke up this morning, un," Deidara said. "I need time to heal." "That code for I'm gonna have a threesome with Hidan and Sasori tonight for no apparent reason," Sasori said.

"Correct, un!" "Alright class settle down," Mrs. Yip-yip said entering the classroom. "Today we have some new students. I would introduce them but it seems as though they got lost." Then the door suddenly flew open, as though someone kicked it, to reveal a blonde boy draped in leather and a green haired boy wearing every color known to man.

"Introducing the dynamic duo of dastardly deeds Mello and Envy!!" they cried. "Oh my god you guys what are you doing here?!" Deidara said really excitedly. "Oh my god Dei Dei is here!!" the green haired boy know as Envy said. "What are you doing here?!" "I asked you first, un!!" Deidara said.

"Well, we got caught robbing a bank and the judge sent us here to try and change our horrid ways," Mello, the blondie, said dramatically."I'm so happy, un!!" Deidara said. "I missed you guys so much!!" "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!" Hidan screamed.

"Oops my bad, un!" Deidara said. "Everyone this is Envy and Mello, my bffs from New York." "Class you all have a quiet study period while I go speak to my pharmacist about more medication," Mrs. Yip-yip said leaving the room.

- - - -

"WHAT?!" Deidara cried at lunch. "He married some prostitute just because he got her pregnant twelve years ago, un!!" "Sorta," Envy said. "You see she was recently widowed and was left with a fortune. So he took advantage of him being the father of her son." "You guys wouldn't happen to know his name would you?" Deidara asked.

"Of course!" Mello said taking out a candy bar. "His name is Naruto." "Alright gang!" Deidara said. "I say we go to NYC, find Naruto, stop my dad from marrying his mom, and then throw a party, un." "Can't," Envy said. "Naruto lives in Switzerland." "Who the fuck lives in Switzerland?" Hidan said.

"Swedish people," Mello said taking a bit of his chocolate bar. "It's Swiss not Swedish," Kakuzu said. "Sempai!!" Tobi said. "Tobi is confused. Since when did we start talking about cheese?" "I dunno, un," Deidara said. "But personally I like cheddar." "Hey remember that time we dressed up as animal for Halloween?" Envy said.

"Oh yeah!" Deidara said. "That was so much fun, un!" "Damn," Hidan said. "If only I could have fucking seen that." "Don't worry," Mello said. "We have pictures." "Damn Dei Dei you look so fuckable in a bunny costume!" Hidan said. "But who's this guys in the pink cat costume?"

"Uh oh," Envy said. "You shouldn't have done that." "MATTY HOW COULD THEY BE SO CRUEL!!" "Matt is Mello's boyfriend and is not allowed to leave the country after the whole Paris Hilton incident," Deidara said. "Legally we're not allowed to talk about it though, un." "Oh," Pein said. "That sounded like it would be a good story. Wanna go to Starbucks and get a Frappicino?" "Sure why not," Mello said.

**A/N: For those of you that watch Fullmetal Alchemist you guys know Envy doesn't look like a gay pride flag. Personally I think it would be funny if he did so I made it so he does. And in Death Note Mello really does wear that. Lol! And yes, Deidara's dad is a total dickhead in this story. Thanks for reading!**

**Trivia: "Zemmiphobia - fear of the great mole rat." I'm not quite sure what that means but it sure as hell sounds funny! If anyone can explain this fear to me please do.**


	2. Psychedelic Rainbow Explosion has a Gan

She Bangs

Chapter 2 Psychedelic Rainbow Explosion has a Gang Bang!

"This is totally fucking awesome!!" Hidan cried. "It'd be more awesome if you actually helped, un," Deidara said carrying in a heavy box. "Go to hell!" Hidan said. "Fuck you!" Deidara said. "Hey!" Kakuzu said carrying a haevey box. "That's my job!" "Damn straight!" Hidan said while eating a muffin. "Anywho I can't fucking believe you guys are gonna be fucking living with us!"

"Well we needed a place to stay and you had extra rooms," Mello said taking a bite out of an MAzing candy bar. "Plus we're broke," Envy said. "That too," Mello added. "Well I don't fucking care what the reason is," Hidan said. "This is totally fucking awesome!" "Hey Hidan," Kakuzu said. "What?" Hidan asked. "Catch," Kakuzu said throwing a box at Hidan. "YOU FUCKING PRICK!!" Hidan cried.

"FUCKING HELP!!" Kakuzu said. "Ooh a lover's quarrel," Envy said. "How romantic." "MATTY!!" Mello cried slamming his head on the table. "Snack time!" Itachi said bringing out two trays. "I made finger sandwiches and Coke!" "Never again will we get Itachi high," Sasori said. "It's really creepy."

"He's not high sweetie," Envy said. "I just loaned him some of my happy pills!" "Dude you take fucking medication?" Hidan asked. "He has to," Mello said. "He's a lunatic if he doesn't." "He can't be that bad," Kakuzu said. "He is," Deidara said. "Imagine Hidan with less cursing and more violent, un." "Eek!" Sasori, Kakuzu, and Itachi said. "What the hell is that supposed to fucking mean?!" Hidan said.

"Hey Deidara," Envy said. "Since we're all here except for Matt-" "WHY MATT WHY?!" Mello cried slamming his head on the table. "-does that mean this is the new Psychedelic Rainbow Explosion Headquarters?" "Crazydruggysaywha?" Sasori said _REALLY_ really fast. "Psychedelic Rainbow Explosion is the name of our club/band/gang/dance team, un," Deidara said.

"And how come I wasn't asked to join?" Hidan said. "Because there needs to be at least three members present at the time of acceptance," Deidara said reading out of the official Psychedelic Rainbow Explosion Handbook. "Now all you have to do is complete three tasks," Envy said. "First you need to sleep with Dei Dei."

"Done," Itachi, Hidan, and Sasori said. "You little slut," Mello said teasingly. "Hehe I know," Deidara said. "But I'm not a complete slut, un." "Why not?" Envy asked. "I've never slept with Kakuzu," Deidara said. "Well that is all about to change," Hidan said. "Excuse me?!" Kakuzu said shocked. "GANG BANG!!" Hidan cried.

- - - -

"That. Was. Amazing," Kakuzu said afterwards. "I never knew something like that existed." "Aww," Deidara said. "Wittle Kuzu had his fwirst gang bang, un." "You know he was a fucking virgin when I met him," Hidan said. "Hidan!" Kakuzu cried. "Chill guys," Envy said smoking a joint. "Now, the second thing you have to do is get high." "Well Itachi already has got that part covered, un," Deidara said. "Me too," Hidan said. "Hell I get fucking high all the time."

"Hidan I have a question," Envy asked. "Wanna be weed buddies?" "Hellz yeah!" "Crap!" Kakuzu said looking at his watch. "I have to go. Tax season starts tomorrow." "For him that's a national holiday," Pein said popping out of nowhere. "Pein did you get here, un?" Deidara asked. "Long before you did," Pein answered. "I got bored so I thought I'd spy on you. You never told me you had friends moving in."

"Oh fuck I forgot, un!" Deidara cried. "Pein this is Envy and Mello my Bffs from New York, un. Envy and Mello this is Pein, he has a crush in Konan." "Alright," Pein said. "Who do I hafta fucking kill?" "Well you could start with Kisame then move onto Itachi and finish off with Hidan," Deidara said.

"Why the fuck should he kill me?!" Hidan said. "Because if you hadn't suggested me and Itachi had sex he wouldn't have felt compelled to tell me when I asked afterwards, un," Deidara said. "Yes but who fucking told Itachi?" Hidan asked. "Kisame did," Deidara said. "Then why doesn't he just fucking kill Kisame?" Hidan asked.

"Cause Kisame pays half our rent," Itachi said cheerfully. "And since Pein hates his family he spends all his time at our condo." "That makes sense," Sasori said. "Hey lackeys work!" Mello cried. "Our stuff isn't gonna more itself." "Yeah," Envy said. "I'd kinda like to be moved some time before Matt gets here." "MATTY!!" Mello cried slamming his head on the table.

**A/N: Get it? Cause they think Matt is never coming. LOL! Anywho for all of you waiting for the next chapter of **_**'The Toxic Angel'**_** I'm sorry to say that every time I start writing I get about one sentence of inspiration and then my brain dies. Sorry and thanks for reading! **

**Trivia!: An Emu is a type of flightless bird that lives in Australia. They are really cute and someone once called me that when they tried to called me emo.**


	3. Tobi is a Good Boyfriend!

She Bangs

Chapter 3 Tobi is a Good Boyfriend

"Hey Itachi," Deidara said suspiciously. "Where's is Zetsu, un?" "Why do you want to know?" Itachi said warily. "No reason," Deidara said. "Sempai!!" a talking sheet that looked a lot like Tobi said. "Tobi wants his mask back." "For the last time Tobi no, un!" Deidara said. "You look hot without it and it's the hotties that get boyfriends."

"Oh I get it now," Itachi said. "You're helping Tobi hook up with Zetsu." "Damn straight," Deidara said. "Now take off the blanket Tobi, un!" "No!" Tobi said. "Damn it Tobi!" Deidara said. "Good boys listen to their sempais!!" "Deidara sempai owes Tobi big time," Tobi said as he started to remove the huge sheet.

"Trust me Tobi you'll be thanking me later, un," Deidara said. "Oh my God!!" Itachi said as Tobi removed the sheet. "Tobi you are so hot!!" "Itachi-san are you okay?!" Tobi said worried. "You have a nosebleed!" "Yeah I'm fine," Itachi said trying to stop the blood. "Wait right here I'll go get Zetsu."

- - - -

"Alright Itachi where is this fucking absolutely must see damn thing you told us about," Hidan said. "I told them to wait right here," Itachi said. "Hey guys," Deidara said out of breath. "Tobi ran away so I had to chase him, un." "Tobi's ugliness is killing everyone!!" Tobi cried from under the sheet. "For the last time Tobi you're not Ugly now take the sheet off, un!!"

"NO!!" Tobi cried and turned to run away only to be stopped by Zetsu. "Z-zetsu san!" Tobi said surprised. "Tobi take the sheet off," Zetsu said. "Yes Zetsu-san," Tobi said reluctantly as he removed the sheet. "Oh,"said Sasori. "My," said Kisame. "Fucking," said Hidan. "God," said Zetsu. "Tobi you're hot!!" "I have the tissues," Itachi said passing them out. "Damn," Hidan said. "I'd tap that ass any day!"

"For once I have to agree with you," Kakuzu said taking a handful of tissues from Itachi. "Zetsu," Tobi said. "Do you like Tobi? Because Tobi likes Zetsu a whole lot." "Dude I think he just asked you out," Pein said from out of nowhere. "Where did you come from," Kakuzu asked.

"Mrs. Bitch is pissing me off so I thought I'd cut class," Pein said. "You guys do realize that's not here real name right?" Kisame said. "Do I look like I care?" Pein said. "Anyways Zetsu you never did answer Tobi. Do you like him or not?" "Yes," Zetsu said. "Tobi is a very good boy."

- - - -

"I need your help," Sasori said to Hidan in Math later that day. "How may I be of assistance?" Hidan said all assassin like. "I need help winning Deidara's love," Sasori said. "Seeing Tobi hook up with Zetsu today made me realize how sad and pathetic this whole situation with Deidara really is. I mean, this is Tobi we're talking about."

"Well the boy does have a nice ass," Hidan asked. "Anywho meet me at my house after your job. We'll begin then." "Don't you mean our house?" Sasori asked. "DO I FUCKING LOOK LIKE A FUCKING FAG TO YOU?! DO I?! IT'S MY FUCKING HOUSE GOD DAMN IT!! MY HOUSE!! NO YOURS!! NOT RUN'S!! MINE!!"

"Hidan," Kakuzu said. "First off yes you are a fag because last nice you said my ass is so fine you want to pound it into the ground until I can't walk. Second don't you that word because you sound like Texas when you should be sounding like California. Finally quit screaming because your giving me a headache and now everyone thinks I'm dating a psychopath." "Well you kinda are," Sasori said only to have a book thrown in his face.

**A/N: In case you didn't know 'Run's House' is the name of a show on MTV. I hate it but I couldn't resist making the joke. Thanks for reading!**

**Trivia!: In 2008 gay marriage became legal in California on Deidara's birthday.**


	4. Dance Hall Dorks

She Bangs

Chapter 4 Dance Hall Dorks!

"So that's why you were talking to Hidan," Kakuzu said as he stretched out his arms. "Yeah he told to come to 'his' house after work," Sasori said. "So that's were you told them you go every day," Kakuzu said.

"Well it's not like I can tell them the truth," Sasori said. "If they found out that I was enrolled in 'JLo's School Of Dance And Theater' with you I'd never live it down."

"I know what you mean," Kakuzu said. "If Hidan ever found out I'd have to move to another country to avoid the humiliation." "Yeah," Sasori said. "It's a good thing they don't even know this place even exists otherwise we'd be screwed."

- - - -

"Alright, un!" Deidara cried. "Does anyone have any questions before we commence operation 'Destroy Those Snobby Bitches At JLo's School Of Dance And Theater' un?" "Just one," Envy said. "Why are we trying to destroy them?"

"Because when me and Dei Dei tried to sign up for dance classes a group of ballerina bitches said that the only that we'd ever be allowed to dance is at a strip club and even there we'd be booed," Hidan said. "So when do we kill the mother fuckers?" Envy asked.

"Envy," Mello said. "Did you take your medication today?" "Hehe no," Envy said. "Come on Envy," Deidara said. "You know you have to take it, un!" "Fine," Envy said popping three pills in his mouth. "But only because you're so damn cute."

"Focus people!" Hidan said. "If we're gonna fucking do this we have to be completely focused. One mistake can destroy the entire mission." "He's right, un," Deidara said. "Everyone head out!"

- - - -

"Well isn't this peaceful," Kakuzu said. "Charge!!" Deidara cried as he kicked through the door to the studio. And then before anyone could blink Envy, Deidara, Hidan, and Mello had the last of the rooms on the 2nd floor covered in paint. "Yay we did it, un!" Deidara cried. "Tomorrow we do the 3rd and 4th floors."

"Deidara what the hell?!" Sasori cried drenched in blue paint. "Omg Sasori!" Envy cried. "Traitors!" Hidan cried pointing at Kakuzu. "Fucking traitors!" "What is going on in here?!" cried Justin Timberlake the head instructor. "Oh shit," Envy said.

- - - -

"Well I'm glad that everything worked out in the end!" Envy cried. "We got three months of community service there," Mello said. "How is that everything working?"

"Well now we can watch Sasori and Kakuzu dance around in tights!" Envy said cheerfully. "You know crazy has a point there, un," Deidara said. "So who wants to catch a movie?" "I'd fucking love to but I'm busy," Hidan said. "Okay see you later!" Mello said as he ran off with Envy and Deidara.

- - - -

"Alright team!" Hidan said, standing on a chair. "How the fuck do we get Sasori and Deidara together?" "Well he can't just go up and be all like 'Deidara I love you," Itachi said. "Why not?" Sasori asked. "Because you're too shy and Deidara has the attention span of a ferret," Itachi said. "You need to do something that really catches his attention."

"How about a song," Kakuzu said. "That worked when we were trying to hook you two up." "Yeah but when?" Pein asked. "How about the Halloween festival?" Envy asked popping out of nowhere. "Where did you fucking come from?!" Hidan cried.

"Does it really matter?" Envy said. "Anyways recently I found a flyer advertising some opening spots for entertainers for the Halloween festival. I was thinking Sasori could perform something for Deidara there." "That's a great idea!" Pein said. "But it means we have a lot of work ahead of us." "I don't care," Sasori said. "Nothing is too good for my little Dei."

**A/N: Hey Shimaki–33 Frosted Flakes are better! And sleep away camp gives inspiration. Thanx for reading!**

**Trivia!: Well I was watching Will & Grace, you know the episode where Jack meets his father. Anywho I'm watching it and Jack goes 'But I loved him' and then I go 'Oh my god that's where I got my inspiration!'. I didn't even know that! Isn't just a nifty little bit of information.**


	5. PCD? More Like PCP!

**A/N: The song that is played later on is the music video version.**

She Bangs

Chapter 5 PCD? More Like PCP!

"Hey have you guys seen Hidan?" Kakuzu asked the next day at school. "Sorry dude I haven't," Kisame said. "In fact I'm busy looking for Itachi." "Him too," Sasori said running up to the pair. "Mello, Envy, and Deidara are also missing."

_'Attention students please go to the outside lunch area right now. If you don't Mello and Hidan will stab you. Thank you and have a nice day.'_ "I think we found them," Kakuzu sighed. "Lets go."

- - - -

"Alright is everyone ready, un?" Deidara asked as they waited behind the curtain of their little makeshift stage. "Almost," Envy said. "But I think we should go through a costume and makeup check first." "Good point," Mello said. "Itachi you first. Purple belly shirt with a smiling cloud in the corner?" "Check." "Rainbow leather boots?"

"Check." "Black pants with various belts and patches?" "Check." "Sparkly blue eyeshadow?" "Check." "Hair down with a sea foam green stripe?" "Check." "Sea foam green nail polish?" "Check." "Various bracelets?" "Check." "Alright that's everything," Mello said. "Next Envy," Itachi said. "Hot pink and orange legwarmers?" "Check."

"Neon blue and black sneakers?" "Check." "Black shorts with pink and white belt?" "Check." "Rainbow tank that shows midriff?" "Check." "About a hundred different bracelets that noone knows how you managed to fit on your arm?" "Check." "Head band that says: Yaoi 4ever?" "Check." "Purple lipstick?"

"Check!" "Envy's ready," Itachi said. "Next is Hidan!" Envy said. "Pigtails?" "Check." "Pink shorts?" "Check." "Chunky black boots?" "Check." "Black belly shirt with a cat on it?" "Check." "Body glitter?" "Check." "Black leather gloves?" "Check." "Choker version of that necklace you always wear?" "Check." "Multicolored eye shadow?" "Check."

"Hidan's good to go!" Envy said. "Next is fucking Deidara," Hidan said. "Multicolored neon legwarmers on arms just for the hell of it?" "Check, un." "Blue eyeshadow and lots of fucking eyeliner?" "Check." "Blue tank that fucking says 'Bang!' on it and has orange stripes?" "Check." "White stilettos?" "Check, un."

"Black shirt with blue stip?" "Check." "Kitty cat panties?" "Check, un." "Dei Dei is fucking ready," Hidan said. "Now it's Mello's turn, un!" Deidara said. "Blue leather pant?" "Check." "No shirt, un?" "Check." "Body paint in various designs?" "Check." "Various belts?" "Check. "Pink leather boots, un?" "Check." "Alright guys," Deidara said. "Let's do this, un!"

- - - -

"And now for your viewing enjoyment," Zetsu said reading off of a note card. "A musical delight of utter eroticism. A drug trip into a world full art and eruption. A forbidden sin of pleasure to the eyes and ears. Introducing Psychedelic Rainbow Explosion!" "Oh," said Kisame. "My," said Kakuzu. "Fucking," said Sasori. "God," said Pein.

_**Deidara:**_ boys call you sexy

and you don't care what they say

See everytime you turn around they screaming your name

_**Mello:**_ boys call you sexy

and you don't care what they say

See everytime you turn around they screaming your name

_**Envy:**_ Now I've got a confession

When I was young I wanted attention

_**Hidan:**_ And I promised myself that I'd do anything

Anything at all for them to notice me

_**Hidan and Itachi:**_ But I ain't complaining

We all wanna be famous

So go ahead and say what you wanna say

_**Envy and Deidara:**_ You don't know what its like to be nameless

Want them to know what your name is

Cus see when I was younger I would say

_**All:**_ When I grow up

I wanna be famous

I wanna be a star,

I wanna be in movies

When I grow up

I wanna see the world

Drive nice cars

I wanna have groupies

When I grow up

Be on tv

People know me

Be on magazines

When I grow up

Fresh and clean

Number one chick when I step out on the scene

Be careful what you wish for cus you just might get it

You just might get it

You just might get it

Be careful what you wish for cus you just might get it

You just might get it

You just might get it

_**Mello:**_ They used to tell me I was silly

until i poped up on the tv

_**Itachi:**_ I always wanted to be a superstar

And knew that singing songs would get me this far

_**Envy and Hidan:**_ But I aint complaining

We all wanna be famous

So go ahead and say what you wanna say

_**Mello and Itachi:**_ You don't know what its like to be nameless

Want them to know what your name is

Cus see when I was younger I would say

_**All:**_ When I grow up

I wanna be famous

I wanna be a star,

I wanna be in movies

When I grow up

I wanna see the world

Drive nice cars

I wanna have groupies

When I grow up

Be on tv

People know me

Be on magazines

When I grow up

Fresh and clean

Number one chick when I step out on the scene

Be careful what you wish for cus you just might get it

You just might get it

You just might get it

Be careful what you wish for cus you just might get it

You just might get it

You just might get it

_**Deidara: **_I see them staring at me

Oh im a trendsetter

Yes this is true cus what I do, no one can do it better

_**Envy:**_ You can talk about me, cus im a hot topic

I see you watching me watching me and I know you want it

_**All: **_When I grow up

_**Deidara:**_ I wanna be famous

I wanna be a star,

I wanna be in movies

_**Sexy Dance Sequence**_

_**All: **_Get it when I grow up

I wanna be famous

I wanna be a star,

I wanna be in movies

When I grow up

I wanna see the world

Drive nice cars

I wanna have groupies

When I grow up

Be on tv

People know me

Be on magazines

When I grow up

Fresh and clean

Number one chick when I step out on the scene

Be careful what you wish for cus you just might get it

You just might get it

You just might get it

Be careful what you wish for cus you just might get it

You just might get it

You just might get it

- - - -

"What is fucking wrong with you people?!" Kakuzu said. "You just did a song and dance number to a Pussycat Dolls song!!" "What?" Envy said. "We were bored."

**A/N: Yeah I had to do this. The idea was stuck in my head and I just couldn't ignore it! Anyways I would like to tell all of you that I got a beta. Her name is Ominous Voices. **

**Trivia: a cat's night vision is superior to humans were as there day vision is inferior.**

**A/N Update!: Wah! My new Beta went missing! If you happen to talk to her tell her that I miss her and loves her a whole lot!**


End file.
